Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
