Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
