I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
