Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
