I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
