I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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