i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
