My balls are so social today.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
