i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
