Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He did a backflip because drugs
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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