do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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