Duck Duck Cougar?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
