Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
