kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
