A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Who put my cat in the fridge?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize