Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
