Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
