we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
