I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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