i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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