i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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