ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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