Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
