you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
