Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
