Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
