my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
