So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
