when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
