Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
