Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just want nice things and good sex
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
