This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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