the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
