No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Boobs speak an international language.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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