If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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