six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
