You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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