We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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