The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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