Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
