theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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