all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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