hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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