Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
