the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
