I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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