Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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