Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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