He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
