and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
