his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize