Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
