Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
