We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
ok first of all what the fuck
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
