Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
