so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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