I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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