I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
