i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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