There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
