ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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