I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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