I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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