Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
