speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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