I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
