all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
