You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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